Monday, October 18, 2010

More Than a Plate

Have you ever lost someone close to you? It's hard...sometimes very hard, but as time goes on you tend to get through the hard times a bit easier until it seems as if you have moved on. Then, BAM, out of no where grief rears its head, takes a hold of you, and tries its hardest to wrestle you back to the ground.

It takes a lot for me to be so transparent on here, but I had one of those BAM, out of no where moments of grief this weekend as I cooked dinner Saturday night and it all started with this plate.

It probably looks like just an ordinary plate to you, maybe even an ugly plate. I will be the first to say that I would not be buying these on my next trip to Target if they were there. These plates belonged to my great grandma Maudie. I was lucky enough to get them when she died, and I would not take a thing for them!!!!!!

If you are a faithful reader of the blog, you may remember this post. I have mentioned Maudie more than once on the blog and how much I loved her. There were many days when I was little that I just could not wait to get over to her house. It was just the best pace ever!!!

Saturday night I decided to make one of Maudie's famous dishes, Alumini Casserole, for dinner. It has been a year since I have had it due to my change in diet, so I thought it was time to treat myself to it. She would have been so proud at how it turned out. I didn't even have to look at her hand written recipe that is hanging in a matted frame in my kitchen.

I took it out of the oven to let it cool for a minute, and I turned to the cabinet to get plates. When I opened the cabinets Maudie's plates were right on top of the "plate stack." I immediately busted into tears. It was the kind of tears that just could not be contained. It was like they instantly filled my eyes, and flowed down my cheeks. All I could think about was that the last time I ate this casserole off of those plates, it was made by Maudie and served by her hands. I was overwhelmed!!!

I have made this dish many times since her passing, but this time the plates and the casserole met at the same time, and it was more than my heart could bare.

I quickly tried to get myself together before anyone came into the kitchen, but I just couldn't stop. I felt so silly because she has been gone for over 5 years... I should be past all this right?

I sat down to eat and Matt tried to talk me through it, but I just had to sit there and cry until it was all out...

Well, at least I thought it was all out... until I started typing this blog. I miss her right now. I can't wait to see her again one day.

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