When you are 5 years old and it’s Christmas, there is only one thing on your mind… TOYS, TOYS, TOYS!!!! It doesn’t really matter what kind of toy to a 5 year old, just as long as it’s wrapped in a big box…. There is nothing better than going over to grandma’s and seeing the biggest gift under the tree with your name on it… The rush of excitement, wonder, and curiosity is almost overwhelming…
When I was 5, for one of our many Christmas gatherings, my mom, step-dad, and sister headed over to My Uncle Ben and Aunt Anne’s house… This was a regular Christmas gathering for my mom’s maternal grandmother’s side of the family… We ate like all good Southern people do with family and then the wonderful time arrived…Passing out the presents…
I remember getting my box…I could hardly wait to see what was inside... Was it He-Man?? Or G.I. Joe… I could hardly wait til all the gifts were passed out…That was our tradition… all the gifts had to be out before we opened the first one…For a 5 year that was definitely cruel and unusual punishment.
As I ripped all the paper off and tore into the box my sheer and utter joy turned to complete and utter devastation…There it was…. A baby doo doo green, hand knitted, toboggan…. It laid there, smirking at me, saying… “Ha Ha Ha… I’m not a toy!!!”
I was so upset… I didn’t know what to do… No He-Man…no G.I. Joe…. not even a color book and crayons…. The least I could have gotten was a brown bag full of pecans, fruit and candy canes…but NO…a baby doo doo green, hand knitted, toboggan.
My heart was broken into so many pieces that I did what any self-respecting 5 year old would do…. I pitched a big fit... I was so upset I threw the hat down and said I didn’t want it. You can only imagine where that got me….
My mom jerked me up and took me to the bathroom… A few whacks on the bottom we emerged back into a room full of glaring eyes…
My sweet Aunt Anne made her way over to me, and in her sweeeeeet counnnnnttry voice said… “Sugar, if you don’t want that hat you don’t have to have it…but I thought your purdy little head might get cold this winter, so I made you and all the little people in the family one…”
My mom made say thank you, and I kept the hat… I never have forgotten that hat… It stayed around for a long time… I think when I was about 12 we had a really big snowstorm… I didn’t have a face mask toboggan like I wanted, so I took that one and pulled down the folded up part and cut holes for the eyes and nose…. It turned out to be pretty useful after all.
As an adult I feel so badly about how I must have acted that day…. Thank God for grace!!!
Tell me about your worst gift…. Be careful…people are reading :0)
2 comments:
UGLY CLOTHES!! I'm a large person and we can't wear what everybody else wears. In the first place, if it doesn't come from Omar the Tent Maker's Shop, it probably won't fit. This One Size Fits All, doesn't. Also, for some reason people think because you're fat or large or fluffy that you're also blind and they pick out some of the most hideous colors to adorn our big butts. Doo-doo green, Doo-doo brown, things with big ol flowers or polka-dots! Lord! We're trying to hide our belly rolls not call attention to them. Just give me $$ and I can go to Omar's and pick out my own clothes. There is nothing worse than a bright baby doo-doo yellow sweater with a Christmas tree on the front with fuzzy pom-pom ornaments that only hides part of your belly roll. If in doubt, give $$.
All this talk of different colors of poop is absolutely CRACKING ME UP!!! I had to walk away from the computer for a minute to stop laughing!!
Chris
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