Remember those days...... when I think about middle school and junior high....only one word comes to mind... PAINFUL!!!!!!!!! I hated it.... I got made fun of.... I went home crying a lot.... in return... I made fun of people, and fed the vicious cycle..... that was my coping mechanism I guess... Wasn't it everybodys?
I cannot remember 1 thing I liked about those years in my life except for the band... It was my motivation... and ironically, at the same time, the source of what fed most of my harassment.... I loved it none the less... and somehow muddled through the mess to become a respectable man in the community and those ridiculous middle school years are long gone...... or are they????
Today..... my 6th grade sins were hurled upon me very unexpectedly... I ran into a mother of a girl I went to middle school with and it all started with her... it was a mother of a girl that I unfortunately made fun of... I admit right here and now to whole the blog reading world.... that I was mean... I was... I said things that were not nice... and I to this day am ashamed of it (this was pre relationship with Jesus.)
Of course this little girl returned the harassment by calling me sweet little names like... Jed "Fairy"bury..... or the infamous.... "Dearybury Muffin." It was a pun on words referencing me to the Cherry Merry Muffin Doll that came out at the worst possible time.... my 6th grade year!!!!!!!!
To make this story worse.... the girl that I am talking was tragically killed in our sophomore year of high school... It was awful.... She and I both had grown up and the years of making fun of each other were over.... As a matter of fact, in 9th grade we made our amends and actually became descent friends.... that's a sign of growing up.....
Fast Forward if you will to today... I'm 30... grown up... in an admiral profession... attempting to mold the youth of tomorrow, and teach them how to be better... and this mother, unleashed her anger on me for "terrorizing" her daughter back in 6th grade.... It was as if I somehow turned back into a sixth grader and was getting a lecture from the teacher...
I began to cry... I was terribly upset.... She was upset that I was teaching and hoped that I would be teaching my students to be a better kid than I was (that hurt by the way).... Here I was being chastised for sins I committed as a child... a 6th grader.... to me that's a time when our maturity level is even less than some 2nd graders... but this mother..... this grieving mother was holding on to it.... and let me have it!
I could hardly compose myself.... I could not even think of words to say.... I was so sad that this mother was hurt... that she was grieving... and that for 18 years she had held this in against me.... a 6th grader... and then it hit me..... One of the last times this girl and I talked, we were talking about how ridiculous we used to be and I once again asked her to forgive me.... the girl quickly said... "If God can forgive you, then of course I can." Of course I was very apologetic to the mother and asked that she forgive me... I unfortunately wasn't given the same blessing that her daughter gave 15 years ago....
I know that I have been long forgiven for those sins.... I've not even thought about that in probably 15 years.... but today.... literally, out of no where.... they were heaped upon me by this grieving mother....
I pray that tonight where ever she is, the Lord would give her peace and help her to heal from these years of grief.... I pray that she would be freed from the heavy heart.... I pray that her burden would be lifted and she would find some peace.
